The Stickers and The Zipper

Most city corners are riddled with them. Graffiti-like stickers pressed onto street signs, lampposts, traffic poles and newsstands. It's become the norm to see them. When it began, I can't remember because paying attention to them wasn't high on my priority list...until 2011. After that, I realized the stickers can and are used to intimidate anyone who's been targeted for this kind of experience.

How so? Well, let me tell you. Once someone has been initially traumatized through some sort of 'set-up' (like described on Day One, Street Names Passing, of Duplicity and Duress: Snap Factories in the Making), that person's observation of everything and anything around him or her is heightened tremendously. Many would call this hypervigilance. In a quest for answers, the targeted person hears everything, sees everything, notices the smallest and minutest detail possible in his or her surroundings. The people behind the targeting know this and play with it. One of the many layers of tactics include posting graffiti and stickers with messages that seem innocuous to most passersby on the street, but to a target they come across as a threat.

In fact, I peeled off (as best I could) and saved a handful of these signs/stickers/graffiti because somewhere in the back of my mind, I wanted evidence in order to gain credibility. This activity is real and only the perpetrators of it and the targets know it's real. There is a direct line of communication, invisible to an outsider, between these two parties. The message from them is "we want to F with you. We know what you're doing all the time and we're going to throw it in your face." The target is stunned into a state of fear and, in some cases, reacts by collecting evidence, seeking answers or, if that target is totally freaked out, he or she could go ballistic in an attempt to gain control. The message from them is "We're in control, you're not." For some targets, the message back is "Oh yeah. I'll show you!" 

A couple examples: While attempting to maintain as normal a life as possible, I decided my small kitchen, in a studio apartment, could use a small throw rug.  The tiles gathered dirt easily, especially since I rode my bike everywhere and brought it into my apartment, leaning it against a counter in the kitchen area. Somehow, doing something everyday like going to Ikea felt comforting. And so, I made my way to the closest one and purchased a small throw rug totaling less than $20 (there's guilt in spending money in this thing, too, you'll see). THE VERY NEXT DAY, while walking east toward 15th street on Spruce (my usual route for work) my attention was drawn to one of the three or four newspaper stands located there, the small ones you reach into yourself. All of them had these graffiti stickers on them, but one stood out the most. It was a Priority Mail sticker with black Sharpie writing with a message that said. "BAD DOG! NEW CARPET?" In addition the sticker bore a cartoon-like dog figure. This was in the early days of my hit. My hypervigilance was on hypervigilance overdrive. Nonetheless, the sticker was intended to instill more fear and feelings of creepiness. Those behind this activity knew I purchased the carpet. What I realized was that I used a Debit or Credit card to purchase it. If you're a target, awareness of such purchases are known to whoever is behind it. Possible hacking can explain that. (Of course, there is always the feeling that whoever they are, they can see or hear all that is going on in your home, work, on the street, everywhere). I also remembered that I talked to my mom via the phone the evening after purchasing the carpet. Maybe they listened in to my phone conversation because I told my mom about the throw rug. It's important to note here that the Priority Mail sticker in and of itself is significant. Prior to 2011, I'd taken a picture with my old Smart phone (this experience caused me to downgrade to a flip phone) at a post office. I was sending something cute to a friend and asked the postwoman if I could take a photo of it while she weighed it on the scale. (I forget why I was so excited about taking this photo). I then forwarded that picture via text to someone I considered a friend at the time. They were playing off this Priority Mail photo. Point being, the amount of Priority Mail stickers with graffiti in this city beginning in 2011 and for the next four years was outrageous, absurd and ridiculous. In fact, I'm wondering if it is borderline felonious to have obtained that many Priority Mail Stickers for such a thing. They littered the poles, newsstands and anything 'stickable,' all over the cit.  All of them with "BAD Dog..this or BAD DOG that."  Dog is a reference often used for targets, at least in my experience.  There were many examples of stickers with messages that were incredibly condescending and hurtful. Not all were on Priority Mail Stickers. Some appeared on full sheets of notebook paper. Another example: while in a counseling session in an attempt to talk through some of this experience without sounding nuts, I asked my counselor "Do you think it was something I said, or something I wrote, that's causing some of this seeming intimidation?" Within the week, a full sheet of notebook paper appeared on a newspaper stand outside of a Starbucks I often passed by, on it the message in big letters "Do you think it was something I said, or something I wrote?"....Coincidence. No. Obviously. That's one of the better, more blatant examples of what these people do. Of course, this was creating paranoia about even the counselor's office being bugged or appearing on some kind of  Closed Circuit TV or something. I still don't know, but I'm assuming they can hear a lot of what a target says or does. Two more stickers: There was a sticker saying "Sick. Tired. Can't Stop. BAD DOG." This appeared on a newsstand at 11th and Pine (NE corner) after I was so worn down from this activity so badly, I called my mom in desperation telling her I was so sick and tired of whatever was going on and that I was on the brink of tears every minute of everyday.

And, finally, at the SE corner of Lombard and 13th a sign I kept avoiding even after riding my bike past it so many times. But one day I decided to read it. It had been up there for almost two years, secure and dry under loads of clear packaging tape. No kidding. I peeled it off and it is framed along with the 'sick and tired' one. (the carpet one is framed in it's own photo frame. It was a way for me to rise above it) The message on this last one was: HEY! IF THE BLINDS ARE EVEN OR UNEVEN OR UP OR DOWN, WE STILL SCAMMED YOUR DUMB ASS!"  In the very beginning, within the first couple months, of my initial hit and severe trauma, I kept trying to decide if I should put my blinds up or down, I tried to fix them so they'd be even and completely covering my window. In fact, on the first anniversary of my hit, I yanked my blinds all the way up for the entire night that I slept in my apartment as a way of giving them the middle finger. This note was about that. I don't feel scammed considering the level of orchestration, fear, intimidation, effort and number of people used to harm one person. That's not a scam, that's all out murder. Thousands against one. Um, the person who survives without killing anyone is impressive. Those ganging up on one person are not impressive at all and they pulled off nothing fabulous. Point being, the sign is no coincidence.  If you had five other targets who happened to react the same way I did, then the message would have been for all affected. But it was up there for two years at least, and I decided, just for my own sense of validation to prove to any and all skeptics out there that, yes, they did this. They're scamming themselves because I'm pretty sure other people were tracking what they did. So anyway, I retained the evidence.  While seemingly silly notes on stickers on street corners seem harmless, for targets they are one of a million ongoing chaotic, intimidating and psychologically terrorizing things happening all at once, bombarding their brains, logic and understanding about the world we live in. Maintaining composure is not easy. To do so involves great strength and courage. For anyone experiencing the same, do your best not to internalize these messages. I'm not sure where or how they know so much. As far as I know, there's not a lot the typical target can do about it. Don't feel scammed, that's message is intended to feed the dark side of our souls. It's intended to create increased anger and frustration. When taking everything into consideration, this is about taking someone down and out mentally. And many against one is not a fair playing field if they want to talk games.  :o)

 

As for the zipper, as mentioned in the title. It has to do with a zipper on a hoodie I wore to class while earning an MFA at The New School in NYC. I commuted there twice a week. My reason for attending was out of desperation. Being hit like this leaves one in a state of paralysis, not sure where to go or what to do. At some point, one option for escaping what was going on was to return to school. Writing was how I was earning a living, basically, since 1999. Taking it to the next level was one way to go. Maybe I could write about this experience or simply find a way out of the maze by eventually teaching or finding other work within the field. Reaching out to new and different people could do that. I was wrong. The games continued there. (this is what made me wonder about things like Virginia Tech. Campuses are the perfect breeding ground for targets. In most cases, students are young and depend upon friendships, being 'cool'.' etc. These perpetrators attack those insecurities severely, which would easily cause someone to harm themselves or others)  But back to The New School. Many tactics were executed. In all kinds of ways. But one of the most simple and easiest occurrences to describe included the discoloration of the zipper pull on the zipper of my hoodie. The zipper pull is larger than those on some other hoodies. During a break for a workshop class, I ran to the restroom, leaving my hoodie on the back of my chair. At the end of class, I reached around my chair to put the hoodie on and the zipper pull on my hoodie was completely discolored. It previously looked silver, but the silver had turned a goldish color. Because much of what goes on gives a target the impression and paranoia that evidence could be fabricated against them for some bogus charge or trial, my brain shifted into extreme fear mode, my heart rate accelerating. At first I thought someone actually took the original zipper pull off the zipper and replaced it with another one. Later I would decide someone used alcohol or a similar substance to discolor the zipper pull. That seems more likely. Sort of like jewelry cleaner will change the coloring of silver. Prior to 2011, I would've never traveled down this line of thought if only my zipper pull had changed color, but because the amount of activity, and different kinds of activity, were endless, it leaves a target with almost no choice than to become very fearful that a lot of people are up to no good to create extreme fear, anxiety, worry, pressure, stress, confusion, disorientation and so much more. At some point, a target has to trust that all will be ok because each target knows he or she, more than likely, hasn't done anything wrong to anyone. The people taking the time to do this to a benign person are extremely mentally ill. They're the criminal. They are the ones up to no good. They are the ones with malicious souls. If they intended to do something good, I think they'd speak to target directly and explain why they were doing what they did. After six years of this, I find it hard to believe no one wanted to speak up or say anything and so I'm left believing they have serious problems and are either afraid to speak up, are brainwashed into believing they should trick people so badly, or anything along those lines. Basically, I'm on my own. I have a few family members to talk to and the occasional person to get coffee with, but that's it. Everyone I've come in contact with since just prior to 2011 and since has participated in some way (one person I met with explained her experience, but she kind of disappeared)..no one else is being honest. That's what it's like to be a target. To try to trust new people, but expect they'll do something in relation to this, and not be too disappointed when or if  they do. I don't know why they're doing it. Some desperate trend out there I guess.